We're getting married
Camellia Moon Garden, San Marino, California
October 9, 2027
Save the date
We met in the queue at a bakery on Valley Boulevard, both reaching for the last tray of egg tarts. Desmond let Vivian have them, and has been reminding her ever since. Our grandmothers have been planning this day for longer than we have, so come and share it: the tea ceremony with our families in the morning, vows through the moon gate in the afternoon, and a long banquet with nine courses and a great deal of yum seng.
330
days until October 9
Our story
2018
A Sunday queue in Alhambra, one tray of egg tarts left, and two people far too polite to take it. We split it on the bench outside and talked until the bakery closed.
2020
Desmond's first dinner with Vivian's family in Arcadia. He peeled every prawn for her grandmother and was asked back the next week.
2023
Vivian took Desmond to the street in Sham Shui Po where her parents met. Her mother had drawn us a map by hand, with every dai pai dong still marked.
2026
At the Mid-Autumn Festival, under a full moon in his parents' garden. He had hidden the ring in a box of mooncakes, and Vivian very nearly gave it to her aunt.
2027
Two families, one garden, and everyone we love at the round tables.
The day
9:00 am
The Lam family home, Arcadia
Desmond and his groomsmen come to fetch the bride, and the bridesmaids make them earn her. Family and wedding party only, with a great deal of laughter and a few red envelopes.
10:30 am
Both family homes
We kneel and serve tea to our parents, grandparents and elders, in order of seniority, first at the Lams' and then at the Cheungs'. A quiet, family-only morning; we'll share photos.
3:30 pm
Through the moon gate
Short vows in the garden under the old pine. Please take your seat by 3:15; the light through the gate at this hour is something to see.
5:00 pm
The pavilion by the pond
Jasmine and oolong tea, cold drinks and small bites while we take photos with both families.
6:30 pm
The Camellia Hall
Nine courses at round tables, the yum seng toast, and our visit to every table. Vivian changes into her qun kwa for the banquet.
10:00 pm
The garden terrace
Lanterns, a little karaoke and late-night congee for anyone still standing.
What to wear
Suits and long or midi dresses. Jewel tones, blush, gold and soft greens are lovely. Please don't come in all white or all black (both are mourning colours to our grandparents), and leave the red to the bride. The ceremony is on stone paths and lawn, so choose heels that like gardens.
Loosen the tie, swap the heels, bring a layer. San Marino evenings cool down quickly in October.
Getting there
Camellia Moon Garden is a walled garden in San Marino, ten minutes from Old Town Pasadena. From LAX it's about 45 minutes outside rush hour; Burbank airport is closer, at 25 minutes. A shuttle runs from both hotels from 2:45 pm and brings everyone back after the after-party; there's also valet parking at the garden gate. (Camellia Moon Garden is invented for this demo.)
Open in mapsWhere to stay
Mention the Lam and Cheung wedding when you book. Rooms are held until September 8.
A calm hotel in Pasadena with a garden pool and a good dim sum breakfast on Sunday. The shuttle leaves from the front steps.
Book a roomTwelve rooms in an old craftsman house, quiet and close. Best for families with small children.
Book a roomThe banquet
We start with the dragon and phoenix platter, for two families joined; then lobster, the 'dragon prawn', for strength; crab and fish maw soup, for plenty; a whole steamed fish, served head to tail, so every year has more than enough; crispy chicken, the phoenix, for the bride; abalone with greens, for good fortune; long-life noodles, never cut; lotus-leaf rice, for a full house; and sweet red bean soup with lotus seeds, for a sweet life and the children our aunties keep asking about. Between the courses we'll come to every table, and at the yum seng toast, hold the 'yummm' for as long as you can.
Good to know
The tea ceremony and door games are just for our families and wedding party, in the morning at home. Everyone is invited to the ceremony at 3:30 and the banquet after.
Your company is the gift. If you'd like to give a red envelope, there's a gold box at the banquet entrance. Our grandmothers would want us to say: no amounts with a four in them, please.
It's the Cantonese toast: 'drain the glass'. Someone will lead it three times during the banquet. Stretch out the 'yummm' as long as your breath allows, then everyone shouts 'seng!' together.
Yes, very. There's a children's table with its own menu and a quiet room off the hall for naps.
Mostly. Paths are stone and gently sloped, and there's a level route to the ceremony. Tell the shuttle driver if you'd like a drop-off at the moon gate.
Please keep phones away during the vows. At the banquet, take as many as you like, and send us your favourites.
Registry
Having you at our table is the gift. If you'd still like to give something, here are two ideas.
RSVP
Please reply by August 28. One form per household.
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